By My Side
by Xoie
Summary: Love is a blessing bestowed upon a few. For true love is hard to find. However, love can also bring torment to one's soul. For not even love is perfect and is filled with faults. Here's a mini fic I wrote for the #AngstFiction challenge on the Amino app in the miraculous community. Xo
1. Chapter 1 Confusion

**By My Side**

" In which Love can be a bit*h "

"Adrien, stop!"

Marinette giggled as he nuzzled his head into the side of her neck. his beautiful blond hair tickling the soft flesh between the shoulder and neck. He couldn't help himself, she looked so adorable, perched on his bed and smelt enchanting with that warm, welcoming, bakery scent. It was comforting and made him feel secure.

He pounced at her from behind and pulled her in. She laughed and peeled his hands away only to turn around and put her arms around his neck, reeling him in for a kiss. Adrien loved her with all his heart. Every beat sung her name and every day, he waited eagerly for her visits. when he wasn't in her presence he felt like he was wallowing in a shallow of despair - like a piece of him had gone missing. His every breathe longed for hers. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about that. But what made him devoted to her love was her rich personality-the way she took care of everything and everyone she loved. She cherished every moment she'd get with anyone. Whether it be with him, Alya, Nino or all four of them together.

When it came to him, she had the love of a mother. She showered him with unconditional love, even at times when she'd get upset, she wouldn't keep a grudge. She always looked out for him both as Marinette and ladybug. And /oh/! When she was his lady, she would fight with confidence, power and bravery. Even if it seemed as if all hope was lost, she would fight on, because she wasn't the one to give up. That's what he loved most.

"Kitty, you're making it very difficult for me to work"

"you've been working forever." Adrien beamed before kissing her cheek.

She let out a huff of air from her nostrils. "It hasn't even been an hour."

"Well it has to me." He murmured while pulling her back with him splaying her on the bed. Marinette laughed as Adrien kissed her cheek, jawline, and began planting small kisses down the side of her neck. She put her hands on his toned chest and pushed him up off her. He reeled back, taking her in. /Beautiful/? /No/, she was mesmerizing.

"you're not gonna let me work, are you?"

"Nope." he said with a sly smile.

A muffled laugh escaped her lips as she reached up and coiled her fingers gently around his nape. They were soft, smooth and...cold. Icy and wet. The sound of thunder and rain enveloped his surroundings. Adrien shut his eyes and shook his head. The noise died down...no thunder, no rain. He slowly cracked his eyes open to see Marinette, wide eyed staring blankly up into empty space. Her pupils dilated as she took a sharp breath of air, only to let it out shakily.

"Mari?"

Adrien said worryingly.

No response. Her breath became heavy and her chest began to rise and fall at an alarming rate.

"Mari." Adrien repeated, tension growing in his voice.

As a response she slowly turned on her side and coiled into a ball, pulling her legs up to her chest, trying to steady her breathing. Marinette felt a wave of nausea swipe over her head. She couldn't calm down her jittering nerves. The ringing in her ears grew louder and her surroundings blurred and began to dim. Her eyes started to droop and she felt sick. Utterly sick. The aching spasm in her chest wasn't helping either. She felt her weight bounce as the pain steadily grew with in her, like a flame slowly burning it's way to the end of a matchstick.

While she was going through this roller coaster of emotion and pain Adrien on the other hand was trying to figure out what had happened.

"Marinette?" He said alarmingly. This was probably the fourth time he had called her name and all he got was a coiled up Mari trying hard to soothe her pain. Panic washed over him, he didn't know why she wasn't responding and it was driving him crazy. He swallowed and tried again, this time, keeping his voice at a softer tone.

"Bugaboo?"

It was as if the word itself triggered some sort of response from Marinette's ache. the pet name he had given her reached her ears. She /heard/ him and it removed some of the panic that was bubbling inside her. The ringing in her ears slowly faded away and so did the pain. All it took was this one word to snap her out of her trance. Marinette's eyes shot open and she quickly did a mental check to see if she was alright.

She wasn't quite sure what had happened but it wasn't the first time it did either. _This_ is what she had been dreading-getting this thing she classified as a 'panic attack' in front of Adrien. She knew this would freak him out and he would press her with questions. Questions she herself didn't have the answers to.

Marinette slowly turned back to lie straight again. Adrien stared at her, his green eyes filled with concern. She hated herself, of all the times, why now? Why did it have to happen now? The worst part was that she couldn't avert her eyes from his. He studied her, relieved that she was now ok but at the same time confused.

"Are you ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine."

He gave her a look which told her that he wasn't buying her act. Was she /really/ ok or was she just saying that not to worry him? Adrien wasn't sure so he pressed on.

"You sure?"

"yes. I'm _fine_."

As soon as the words tumbled out of her mouth a prickle of pain shot through her chest causing her brows to furrow and her eyes to widen a bit. She tried hard to conceal it but her efforts were useless. Adrien noticed the slight change in her facial features and knew that she was hiding _something_. What he wanted to know was what. But he also knew that the answer would be hard to achieve and pry out because if there was anyone who's stubbornness was greater than all of Paris combined-it was Marinette's. If she wanted to hide this from him, she'd keep it hidden.

"I know what you're thinking, it's all over your face. I'm _fine_. _Really_. I just-just don't know what came over me that's all."

When she didn't talk any further and kept her gaze locked with his, Adrien sighed in defeat.

"ok." He said softly with a hint of sass, addressing her that he knew she was lying. At this Marinette furrowed her brows and let out an annoyed groan. He looked down at her, raising a brow. She put her arms around his neck and took a deep breathe.

"I'm fine Adrien." she said meaningfully. She took one hand and combed it through his bushy, blonde hair. " You know I had the sniffles last week. This is just probably the aftermath. Don't worry about me, you'll just tire yourself out kitty." She said with a wink, flicking his nose at the end.

He wasn't entirely convinced but he got this strange feeling...like he had heard her say those words before. If he remembered correct, a bell should go off any minute. He waited but didn't hear anything. weird.

"Adrien?"

He snapped out of his own world and came to. Marinette gave him a questioning look to which he replied with his goofy "my bad" grin. She giggled and looked at him longingly. What did she ever do to deserve him? He was perfect in his own way. To Adrien she looked so alluring in that moment, he didn't realize that he was slowly leaning down, reaching for her lips. They were only a breathe apart when suddenly.

Rinnggggggg! Rinnnnggggg!

Adrien's Phone went off, spoiling their moment. He lifted his head, groaning, while Marinette began to stifle a laugh. His arms gave out and he plopped on top of her. As her chuckles faded away, she collected him up and began to stoke his hair.

"Aren't you gonna get that?" She said sweetly.

He sighed. Why not? The mood had gone already. He rolled off Mari and got up, kicking his feet in the air. Marinette stretched out her arms arching her back, while Adrien walked over to his table where his phone buzzed and rang. He picked it up, but no one answered. He felt a soft breeze tickle his arms.

He slowly pivoted to see that he was in Marinette's room. The smell of freshly baked croissants was heavy in the air. He realized that his clothes had changed as well. No longer was he wearing his blue muscle-shirt with black boxers for they had been swapped out for his grey hoodie and blue jeans.

It also took him a moment to take in that he wasn't alone. Although Marinette was nowhere to be seen, her kwami, Tikki, was floating in front of him.

"Adrien did you hear what I said?" She said anxiously.

"Huh-n-no sorry Tikki, guess I'm blanking out a lot today...what was it you said?"

The little kwami sighed, clearly stressed out. Whatever it was, she desperately wanted Adrien to be aware of and understand. Adrien on the hand wasn't shocked at all of how he had managed to go from his room to Mari's in the blink of an eye. He figured he had been day dreaming or recalling a memory of the day before.

"It's Marinette. I'm worried about her. She keeps getting these odd spasms of pain. I think I know what's going on but I'm not sure...she won't open up to me. Could you talk her?"

Adrien blinked. _Spasms_? _Of pain_? Hadn't he just seen her go through that? From the look that Tikki gave him, told Adrien that this was much bigger than just some mere side effect of 'the sniffles.'

Before he had the chance to say 'ok', he got that same weird feeling again, creeping up his spine - like he had been here before. Deja vu much? He expected the floor door of Mari's room to open, so he stepped aside, except nothing happened. No one open the door. Ok, this was getting stranger and stranger by the minute. Was he some sort of psychic?

"Adrien?" Tikki said slowly.

He wanted to move, to turn his head and reply, but he couldn't. He felt his body had been pinned down by a force he couldn't see. He struggled to move, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't.

"Adrien?" This time it was Marinette who called out his name.

Her voice was filled with desperation, what he couldn't understand was why. He closed his eyes and tried another attempt at moving; his legs, arms, anything. The sound of thunder and rain enveloped his surroundings. He felt every droplet raining down on him, hard. The splitter splatter, bouncing of the street.

 _Street_? Adrien thought.

He slowly cracked open his eyes to see that he was outside and was no longer Adrien. He saw that his hands were gloved in the familiar leather material, claws coming out from his fingertips. He felt his hair was matted and damp because of all the rain. So many questions swarmed his head.

 _why was he outside? Why was Marinette calling his civilian name? Was she now Ladybug?_

But there was one question which protrude the most.

 _what was happening?_

* * *

 **XD ok. I know you're a lil confused but dw..it'll all make sense. Next toasted flake coming out soon ^-^**

* * *

 **you have to understand that I HATE Angst. reading it, writing it, or watching it.**

 **I can only cope with it as long as there is a happy ending to cool off my burns...but, when there isn't one,**

 **It gives me anxiety and panic attacks...so writing this was a death wish. The only reason I decided to take on this challenge was to re-condition**

 **myself and to try to overcome this fear that has kept me from reading and watching amazing books, anime and t.v shows.**

 **so, yeah I'm coping...and I did it. Hopefully you'll like what you read and cry a river of tears with me. 3**


	2. Chapter 2 Chaos

**By My Side**

Adrien forced with great effort and willed his head to move. It was as if time itself slowed down at his request and then darted on. He felt like a spell had been broken and he was finally able to control his movements. He turned around to see ladybug, arm out stretched toward him, her eyes filled with alarm. It looked like she was warning him.

"Look out! Behind you!"

Immediately he felt an object flying straight for him with the help of his enhanced feline sense and duct to take cover. A flashy blue sword flew right above his head toward Ladybug. Thankfully unlike him, she was actually paying attention and dodged it without any trouble.

At this point chat was very confused. Why couldn't he keep his head in the game? if it weren't for ladybug, he would have been dead right there - and he wasn't exaggerating that one bit.

He wasn't aware when, but somehow they had managed to get the akumatized object off the akuma.

 _Maybe that's why he threw the sword._

Although he didn't remember when but determining from the blinking of the paws on his ring he had already used cataclysm. He watched Ladybug as she cleansed the akuma and used her ability to reverse everything back to the way it was. He then watched her earrings glow profoundly white, bursting with light so bright that he had to shield his eyes. It was like they had exploded into luminescent. It lasted for a few seconds and after that it was gone. What Adrien didn't know was that her powers would go with it.

He watched as ladybug brought her hands to her chest, clutching the fabric of her suit as though she had been shot. Her eyes widened as she slowly swayed back and forth until her legs gave out and she fell onto her knees.

"Ladybug!" Chat yelled as he sprinted toward her, skidding down to his knees in time to catch her before she fell. Her cheek hit his shoulder and she let out a shaky breath.

"Chat..." She breathed, her voice uneven.

Adrien put his arms around her, shielding her from the world, pressing her cold, cold, body against his. It was working, she could feel his warmth seeping through but it wasn't enough.

Marinette felt pain unlike any before. Her chest felt like it was being ripped apart fiber by fiber. Every cell in her body ached. She had a hard time breathing, for her lungs wouldn't open up. Her heart throbbed and the air around her became harder to breath. Shards of glass were being priced through her chest. Her breath grew heavy as she began to feel light headed.

"Buggaboo?" Adrien said, his own voice now falling apart. He felt her weight grow heavy as her body slumped onto his.

Marinette gasped as she felt another jolt of pain shoot right through her chest, muscles, flesh, everything. Hot tears began to sting her eyes.

No.

She wouldn't cry, not now, not like this.

"Mari?..."

Marinette began tipping to the right, her cheek slowly slid off his shoulder and she collapsed into his lap, eyes shut.

"Marinette?" Adrien was barely able to utter her name, his voice, strained. When she kept her eyes shut, a blossom of panic slowly began to bloom in his chest. He held her hand and squeezed it as he said her name again.

Nothing.

Anxiety, disbelief, and pain is what he felt. All too much at the same time. He took his other hand and gently caressed her face, his finger skimming down her jaw, stopping at her chin. He called her name again but found no reply. He tapped her cheek and tried again.

Her eyes fluttered open, a thin layer of haze glossing them. He could see the pain she was submerged in. Her once soft blue bell eyes which were filled with life were now darker and more defined.

"A-adrien..." She barely whispered. The rain fell harder as the sky grew darker and darker.

Adrien let out a breath. She was still alive.

Marinette felt dizzy and the pain was becoming harder and harder to bear. She squeezed her eyes shut and grunted, jerking her body and squeezing his hand as the ache began to roar, contracting her chest. Marinette felt as if she was a woolen scarf that someone threw into a thorny bush and began to tug at violently in an attempt to untangle and retrieve it.

She moaned in pain as the throbbing lowered. Taking in gasps of air, and letting them out through shaky breaths, she finally opened her eyes once again. Her vision cleared to see Chat, his eyes heavy with worry and concern, tears streaming down his face.

Adrien felt a boulder had been placed on his chest. This was all his fault. He saw how sick she was, why didn't he do anything? He vowed he'd never cry in her presence but this was all too much.

"Mari you're gonna be ok, okay?" He sniffed. "You're gonna be fine, we'll take you, get you checked up and you'll be f-fine. I'm not gonna let anything happen to you." He continued in a raspy voice, caressing her face all the while.

Marinette wanted to cry. She really did, the tears were tugging at her lids but she knew that one of them had to be strong when the other couldn't and so she felt her eyes grow heavy and slowly shut them. She knew she was sick. It started a couple weeks ago when she was in her room. She thought nothing of it until it happened again when she was over at Adrien's. Her kwami had tried asking her about it, but she was afraid. She didn't want Tikki - or anyone else to worry.

So, she began her search. She went to Master Fu and asked to look through some old scriptures and scrolls to find out what was wrong with her. She didn't want answers - she /needed/ them. But once she found what she was looking for, she had wished she never discovered them to begin with. She was " _fading_ " was what the scroll had said. But she knew better, the writing was only sugar coating her reality, she was dying.

Of course she was left staring, smitten, at the old scribbles in disbelief. She looked through others, read it over and over again. Tried to reason that maybe it had been smudged or written wrong - after all, it _was_ thousands of years old. But all her efforts came down to nothing and she had to accept the fact. According to the old scripture, ladybugs are known to have short life spans and she had somehow accidentally done something to activate that trait within her miraculous. She was left hiding the fact that her days were now numbered. And so, she was now here, in the midst of a heavy downfall of rain, in the arms of her lover, in the middle of a Parisian street. There was no fighting it. There was no point.

She heard her name again, tumbling out of his mouth, and so she braced herself to face reality. She was never one to believe in false hope so why should she now?

Adrien held his breath as she fluttered her eyes open once again. But soon let it out as he saw the clearness in those eyes. She was leaving him, and she was aware of it as well, not holding back, but letting go. She'd accepted there was no way out and that made Adrien's skin grow cold and his heart plummet to his guts.

"You know, they say you see your whole life flash by you when you're about to die..." She whispered, in a hoarse voice.

"No." Adrien let out in a faint whisper.

He swallowed, his mouth going dry. He didn't know what was scarier, the fact that she was leaving him or the fact that she was knew and was going so freely, without fighting back. And those eyes, those beautiful eyes of hers twinkling with unshed tears. It was too much for him to bear.

"Mari...please don't. Don't." He barely managed to get out, shaking his head ever so slightly.

She squeezed his hand as the pain began to claw at her insides. Teeth gritted she groaned and let out a sound of discomfort. As the swelling of pain welled down enough for her to manage, she opened her eyes once again and locked her gaze with his and uttered no words. Non were needed; he got the message. It hurt. Desperate, he took in a breath and tried to reason with her, give her encouragement to fight.

" That's it? Your throwing in the towel so quick? Come on Mari, FIGHT. Fight for your parents, your dreams. What about your plans? What about Alya? Nino? What about Prom? Wha-what about me? What about /us/? Fight Mari. Fight." He croaked, his voice shaky.

Thunder boomed as the rain began to fall harder. Adrien expected her to take his words. To reassure him that she'll make it through this rough patch. What she did, however, caught him completely off guard and crippled his heart.

She _smiled_.

Even with the immense amount of pain assaulting her, she managed to smile. Though it would have fluttered warmth into Adrien, it only did the opposite because of the words which followed that soft grin.

"I've _been_ fighting, I just... I just didn't win this one kitty." She whispered.

He was lost at words. He just gaped at her, at the revelation she had just bestowed upon him. This was no illusion. This was his reality. It was this fact that Adrien had a hard time to comprehend.

 _Everyone leaves._

This statement that he knew oh so well echoed in his head. His mother had made that clear to him when she disappeared. It stained his memory, it was burned into his head. He knew that there would come a day when everyone he loved would leave him. He blinked back tears which blurred his vision and yet as he saw her, in that state, he couldn't believe it.

 _Everyone leaves._

That whisper of thought clung to his very being. He was aware of it, he just didn't think that Marinette would be one of them - the ones to leave him and so quickly as well.

Her painful cry shattered his thoughts as his attention flicked back to her. She clutched his hand, it probably hurt but Adrien couldn't feel. At this point his body was numb.

"I don't have much time." She let out, closing her eyes and taking in sips of air. It was clear that it was becoming more and more difficult to breath. She swallowed before continuing.

" Promise me...promise you'll cope with the pain... just - just promise. Promise you won't let yourself fall, that you won't become an akuma." Tears began to pool in those bewildering eyes, shimmering like crystals in sunlight.

Her chest began to rise and fall out of sync. It was as if she had just ran a marathon and was trying hard to catch her breath.

" Please promise me... i-if you come under his influence, I - I won't be there to help you."

She let out a shaky breath. Beads of sweat began dripping down her forehead but he didn't notice. They were sliding down her cheeks with the droplets of rain which wouldn't stop beating down on them.

It was like the heavens themselves were weeping at the loss of the boy. The arrow that hit him so hard and unexpected. That's the thing about love, once you dive into its waters; welcoming with lust and warmth, those very waters can drown you in the blink of an eye. Its a kind of blessing which comes with a curse.

"Promise." she said softly.

"Promise." Adrien let out through whimpering lips.

The fire that burned in her chest began to ease a little at the sound of his oath. She began to relax, there was only one more thing she had to do, and then she could leave in peace.

"T-take my earrings." she said faintly.

"What?"

" My earrings, take them. Keep them hidden and guard them with your life. Take care of Tikki for me, until Master Fu comes looking for her. Tell Plagg I love him and do the same with Tikk- "

"Mari slow down, you know I can't do that. He'll never let me - Fu- he'll take them."

She smiled faintly.

" I know. That's why you must keep them hidden." She whispered.

Her eyes stung with tears but she didn't give in. She would keep head strong. She wouldn't cry- _couldn't_ afford to cry. She couldn't do that to him. It must already be painful enough to see the one you love die in your arms, she wouldn't let him see her go with tears of her own.

" It'll be like keeping a piece of me with you." She murmured. The darkness was slowly seeping in and it became hard to keep awake. Her eyes slowly fluttered shut.

"Mari?" Adrien said, his voice breaking at the end.

She creaked her lids open, the barest hint of a smile splaying across her lips.

"Still here."

Adrien hated it. Every second made him sick. He could feel her slipping through his fingers and the wait bubbled up apprehension inside his chest. A familiar beeping echoed in the thunderous storm. Adrien saw her de-transform and choked back a sob. He couldn't do it. He couldn't let her go. She was everything he had - she was his world. Another beep sounded and Adrien felt his own suit disappear replaced with his black hoody and navy blue track pants.

" Take my earrings." She whispered again, eyes closed.

And so he bit his bottom lip and heisted before reaching down and gently removing the two plain, red earrings. They looked fragile, just like her. He safely slid then into his pocket and secured them in by zipping it shut.

Marinette coughed and began to shiver from the cold. The sight shattered his heart. The pain that stung him was the mere fact that he couldn't fix it. Blinking back tears he leaned down and gently pressed his forehead with hers, gritting his teeth all the while. She slowly reached up and coiled her fingers around his nape. They were cold and icy but he didn't care. He clutched her close and held her with all he was.

He couldn't bring himself to believe that this was reality. He was in denial. Now, he was second guessing if he would be able to keep the vow he had made.

"A-adiren..." She breathed.

He slowly lifted his head and gazed into those beautiful stormy blue eyes.

" Don't bottle up your feelings, it'll leave a scar... " She removed one hand from his nape and caressed his face with her thumb, gently sweeping under his eyes and tear stained cheek.

" ...You already have one and I don't wanna be responsible for another." She whispered.

He caught her wrist and slowly intertwined his fingers with hers. His heart bled and he knew that her time was near. He leaned down and softly kissed her forehead before planting another kiss on her cheek. Marinette wriggled her hand out of his and gently cupped his cheeks before pulling him in for a kiss, locking her lips gently with his. A kiss that would flare the ache of desire in her heart. One that would be her last.

breaking free, she combed his soaking hair to the side.

" You were the _best_ thing that happened to me. And I know that at times it'll be hard but...just know that I'll always be there, by your side." she whispered, her voice, hoarse.

Adrien felt a wave of nausea hit him. He gathered her up and held her close, Burying his face into her shoulder.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He broke out. "Why? I-I could have helped you. "

" It would have made no difference."

"It would have to me." He croaked.

With one last breathe Marinette took all she had, every little piece in her heart and memory which filled her with his warmth, she collected it all up and used it to push the words out of her mouth.

"I love you Adrien Agreste. " She whispered ever so slightly into his ear.

And like that she was gone.

Adrien waited. Waited for her breath to come. Waited for another pulse. Even though he knew deep down that this was it, he waited. The shock came down on him like lightning. It was a flood of emotions over flowing his capacity. His heart stammered as he slowly backed up from her limp body. Her hair was drenched, water dripping down from her bangs. her face was drained of all colour, her lips were sheer white and her eyes looked hallow. She was beautiful. And now she was gone.

Somehow, Adrien still couldn't take it in; accept that the inevitable had already taken place and that there was no changing it. Denial was his way of coping. She was lifeless in his arms, her body heavy and cold to the touch, she had said her last words, and yet he still denied the truth.

 _She_ was the one he'd go seek refuge to when his cold father would shut himself from the world. He would go seek her out when he felt abandoned. She was the one, the warmth in his life that would help him onto his feet when he was at his lowest. Now who would be there for him? The sickening feeling coiled around him and Adrien couldn't hold it in. He let go of the sob that he had tightly restrained in his throat. It wasn't long before the flood gates of tears collapsed.

He clutched her close while heaving, his eyes squeezed shut. His cries were loud and terrifying. He felt broken, a part of him had been taken away from the cruelty of fate. He was a puzzle short of pieces. It would take him a while to collect them all, pick them out and slowly put his heart back together, piece by piece.

His violent spasms from crying put a strain on his throat. He slowly opened his eyes to see that she was gone, disappeared into thin air. He was left hugging himself in the rain. His heart ached and the weight of the loss was too much to bear. He slowly lied down turning on his side, on the dirty street.

* * *

 **THE BURN. LET ME JUST DIE. woah woah woah! stay with me! new toased flake comming out soon. Xo**


	3. Chapter 3 Tears

**By My Side**

"Adrien."

Her voice echoed faintly in the background of the storm. It sounded distorted, like it was being emitted from under water. He didn't dare believe it was real. He continued to coil into himself, plummeting into the depths of his misery.

"Adrien!" there it was again.

He suddenly felt a pair of hands grab his shoulders and shake him violently back and forth.

"Adrien! Snap out of it!"

With a gasp he opened his eyes and panted for air. He sat up with a jolt, his breathing hard and out of sync, like he had been holding his breath under water for far too long. His ears tuned out and his head buzzed. He brought his right hand over his chest to calm his heart which thundered and felt as if was going to leap out of his chest.

It took him a couple seconds to note that he was in fact sitting on his bed and not in the middle of a dirty, wet street. his muffled surroundings slowly came into hearing. The voice he heard eased his growing heart rate.

"Adrien?"

He turned his head to see Marinette to his right, sitting on her ankles, an expression of relief on her face. Immediately, on impulse, he reached toward her, grabbing her by the arms and pulled her in, locking her into a tight embrace.

"Adrien, too tight!" She choked.

But he didn't loosen his hold. It was just a dream. He buried his face into her neck.

" I lost you." He croaked, voice falling apart.

Marinette smiled and wrapped her arms around him, stroking his hair and rubbing soothing circles on his back. He drank up her touch and act of comfort. He didn't know how long they sat there, bodies mending into each other's, slowly rocking back and forth.

"Are you ok?" Marinette spoke up after a while, breaking the comforting silence. "You were screaming my name."

Adrien didn't reply. He couldn't bring himself to talk. His throat burned and all he wanted to do was hold her tight. To his dismay Marinette broke away from his hold to take a good look at his face. From her expression, he figured he was looking his worst which wasn't a surprise to him at all considering he felt that way inside.

It was here where he had a chance to really take her in. She was wearing her pink woolen sweater with blue mini shorts. Her hair was open, filled with volume which he found weird, considering the fact that she only put it down at night, when the sky was pitch black and she'd sleep over. The rays of golden sunlight pouring in through his windows, illuminating his room, told Adrien that it was nowhere near sun down, let alone night fall.

She cocked her head to the side and brushed back his tangled locks of blonde.

"Bad dream?"

Adrien shook his head. "Nightmare."

" Was it the beach one? The one where the weather goes all downhill and-"

" No, it wasn't that...it was different. It felt real." He cut her off.

"Real how?" She asked slowly.

" Like it had actually taken place." He said gazing blankly into space.

Adrien looked to his bedside table in hopes of finding his phone. Instead he found a plate full of Camembert. He didn't know what was weirder, the fact he couldn't smell its foul stench, or the fact that Plagg hadn't devoured it.

He flicked his attention back to the beauty on his bed as he felt her soft fingers tap at his knee. He still didn't understand why she had her hair down, it wasn't like her to do so.

He was the _only_ one who had seen her like that; not even Alya knew how she looked when those adorable pigtails came off. It made him feel special.

" Well, do you want to talk about it?" She asked sweetly.

A couple strands of hair from her side bangs fell over her eye. Subconsciously, Adrien reached for it, to tuck it behind her ear, which was hidden behind the thick layers of midnight blue hair.

" You know I'm here for you." She said softly.

Adrien froze. Not at her words but at what he saw. Her earrings-they were gone. His fingertips turned to ice and his breathe was caught in his throat. He felt bile graze the back of his gullet. The wheels in his mind slowly rotated, processing everything that had happened so far. The pieces, hints and clues that were all planted throughout his room came together, fitting perfectly. The reason why Mari's hair was down when the sun was blazing outside, the reason why the Camembert was left untouched, the reason why her earrings were missing. It all became clear and it made Adrien's heart collapse in on itself.

"No, you're not. You're not here for me." He said faintly, pulling back his hand, slowly closing it in a fist while doing so.

She blinked at him, eyebrows knitting together.

"Yeah, I am."

He gave her a foul look which was drenched in an expression of sorrow and betrayal.

" No Mari you...you don't understand."

Marinette looked at him, hints of worry itching in her features.

"Understand what?" She said, perplexed.

"Just-just go away Mari. Just leave." He huffed, his head bowed down, eyes focused on the sheets in his lap.

Marinette's eyes grew wide at the sudden change in his attitude.

"Adrien…" she said, crestfallen. When he didn't budge she pressed on.

"What's wrong? Hey, Talk to me... I'm listening, I'm all ears... I'm right here."

Adrien kept his head bowed, unable to look at her. He felt cheated but he didn't blame her. He was doing this to himself. His eyes felt heavy, glistening with a layer of haze.

" That's the thing...you're not." He said softly.

Marinette cocked a brow.

"Yes…I am, I'm right here." She said, confounded. She took his hand and put it just above her chest. Choking back tears, Adrien lifted his head to look at her.

"No, you're not...because...you're not real." He said with a smile.

* * *

 **:'(**


	4. Chapter 4 Ashes

**Final part! Cry tears with me as I put an end to this Angsty toasted flake...enjoy my lovelies :3**

 **and don't forget to leave a review! I like reading what you all think of my work. ^u^**

* * *

 **By My Side**

 _"No, you're not...because...you're not real." He said with a smile._

Marinette gaped at him for a few moments, before returning the grin. She leaned in close and put her arms around his neck.

"It's about time. I thought you'd never see it."

This time it was Adrien's turn to blink. Marinette's features slowly began to give of a faint glow.

"Mari..." he said, bewildered and heartbroken.

She leaned in further until her forehead was pressed against his.

"I'm so proud of you. The way you're dealing with all the chaos. The way you were true to your words." she breathed.

Adrien held his breath. Was this really happening? If it was, then let it continue for eternity, if not, then he wished that he'd never wake up.

She slowly reeled back cupping his cheeks. "I missed you so much kitty. I can't tell you how happy I am to see that you're still coping."

Adrien felt her touch bloom warmth into his cheeks, seeping downward until it reached his chest, pumping through his blood until it filled every cell in his body. It was a feeling of complete serenity, a feeling only she had the power to bring upon him. He hadn't felt so whole in days. He slowly brought his hands up and gripped her wrists.

"M-mari...I miss you too. Please come back to me. Please come home. "He pleaded, his voice catching near the end.

Marinette looked at him through dejected eyes, glistening with tears, sucking in her lips.

"I know. I wish I could." She whispered.

She caressed his face, a sad smile on her lips. "You know I actually meant what I said, right? That I'll always be here, by your side."

"By my side." Adrien repeated.

Marinette leaned forward and collapsed into him. He held her tight, his chin resting on her shoulder. She ran her hands through his bushy hair, grabbing globs of it before sighing audibly, lips skimming his ear.

"I don't know if I made this clear enough last time, so I'll say it once again."

Adrien felt his heart throb, real or not, he knew that she wouldn't stay. That she was truly gone.

"I love you Adrien Agreste. Always have. Always will, never forget that." She whispered.

Slowly, she pulled back, gently cupping his cheeks once again and lowered her lips to his. They were a breath a part, the air between them dancing with fusion, tickling their skin. Adrien withdrew his arms from around her waist and reached up to cup her face as well, his thumb stroking her moist, salty, cheeks before reaching for those rosy pink lips.

A surge of vehemence swallowed the two whole. They were stars twinkling in the infinite universe. Giving and taking greedily. Adrien angled his jaw, breaking for a split second for air and then dove right back under. They were drowning in each other, drinking up what they had to offer. She ran her hands through his tangled locks, grabbing them while angling her face, deepening the kiss. Adrien welcomed her, opened his heart and poured everything he was out to her. He was parched and she was his well. Pressing his forearms to her back, he mended his body into hers. He knew this would be the last time he'd ever burn in the flames of passion which licked his soul. Like stars they danced away, glowing brighter and brighter. Eyes shut, he still made out the dramatic increase of light which illumined around her. Like stars they came crashing down, breaking apart, gasping for air. Like a shooting star, he longed to make a wish, one that he knew was impossible to grant.

Adrien gazed at her, as the halo of light continued to shimmer and glow brighter. Like a star she was near her end. For only Super Noves illuminate such phenomenal masses of light, a last show case of their beauty before they die. Before their existence is forever forgotten.

He watched her as the twinkle and shimmer enveloped her completely until she was only a colour of angelic white. She placed her hands on his chest and gently pushed him back until he was laying back down. She brushed his mane of hair out of his face and caressed it gently one last time, memorizing all his features before softly pressing her lips to his.

It was different this time, a parting gift which lasted for a few seconds before she pulled back, leaving a tingle on his lips. He felt the twinkling lights fade way. Adrien slowly creaked his eyes open, a flood of emotions racing through his veins. His head buzzed and he heard faint voices in the distance.

"See I told you, the kids okay!"

The voice was grouchy but the one which followed was high pitched and sounded heart broken.

" Plagg, he was screaming, I don't know how much more of this I can take."

Adrien recognized the voices and rubbed his eyes before slowly propping himself up. He couldn't decipher what he felt. It wasn't a sickening feeling, but it wasn't a stellar one either. He blinked a couple of times and let his eyes adjust to the soothing, golden, dimmed, lighting in the room.

Plagg zipped in front of him, chasing after Tikki.

"Adrien! Are you ok?" Tikki yelped at the same time as Plagg squealed "Do you have more cheese?"

Tikki glared at the black cat kwami which made him shut his pipe hole.

" Yeah I'm fine...hey Tikki, you said I was screaming?" He said, rubbing his head.

Last night was a bit of a blur, heck the entire week was a blur, for Adrien had lost his ability to emote. He was a robot, going through life with programmed motion, doing tasks on pure gut instinct without putting much thought to it. He believed he had cried himself to sleep yet again, exhausted from mourning and trying to keep his feelings in check to prevent himself from becoming an akuma.

"Yeah, you were screaming...but only for a while." Tikki said passively.

" That wasn't the only thing he was doing." Plagg interjected, smirking.

Adrien brought his attention to his kwami who was devouring the last piece of Camembert on the bedside plate.

" What do you mean?" Adrien asked curiously.

" Let's just say your pillow was being assaulted by your face...and here I thought curiosity killed the cat."

"Plagg." Tikki warned. Adrien was profoundly confused as he saw his kwami's eyes winded and ears shoot up, only to droop back down, flat against his bulbous head. Whatever her tone had implied, it made Plagg think twice about what he had uttered.

Adrien lifted his fingers to his lips which still tingled from the kiss. A kiss that had never taken place. However, he was starting to believe maybe that wasn't the case.

"Tikki...I think I saw Mari. No...that came out wrong, I _know_ I saw her, and I felt her too."

"Oh Adrien...you two were really close. By far, the _closest_ both in _and_ out of costume compared with all the previous ladybugs and chat noirs. Off course you'll feel her presence."

Adrien blinked at the kwami.

"No. That's no what I mean. I felt her as in she was physically here. She told me about how she'll always be there for me and how she knows what's going on and-" Adrien stopped mid -way because of the look that both kwamis gave him. It was of complete shock.

Tikki turned her head toward Plagg. "I told you she knew...I can't believe she actually figured it out."

Adrien was confused. What was the kwami talking about?

"No...that means that we'll be..." Plagg muttered.

At hearing this, Adrien witnessed something enough to break his heart-not that it wasn't already broken. Seeping through her lids, he saw a single shred of tear roll down the little kwami's face.

"Tikki?" Adrien said softly, reaching for the kwami that floated in front of him. He held her in his hands and pet her head. Plagg zoomed to her side, crouching down in front of her, on Adrien's hands. He used his plush-like hand and delicately wiped the tear away.

" Tikki, I'm not good at this sappy stuff but please don't cry. It'll falter the balance."

Adrien decided that it was time he stepped into the conversation. He wanted to know what they were hiding.

" What's going on? Is there something you two aren't telling me"

Plagg slowly turned and lifted his head to meet Adrien's gaze. With a sigh, he began.

"W-we think Marinette found some old scrolls containing a relic from the past. She somehow managed to understand it...and used it on herself...umm-Tikki I'm not good at this!"

With a sigh Tikki continued for him.

" Once she cast the spell, she was ensured that when death would be fall her, she'd be trapped in a void - a realm of magic. If enough energy is used, and a relic of hers is left behind, in this case her miraculous-the earrings, she could bring herself back but it's really complex. Once the visit is sealed, she is let out of the realm and can no longer acquire any visits. The thing is, now with her gone...the guardian h-he..." Her voice caught at the end. Plagg collected Tikki up, stroking the back of her head while the little pink kwami buried her face into her plush like hands.

" The guardian will come for Tikki and she'll be locked away in the chest...at least until another suitable Ladybug is found." plagg ended for her, eyes lowered. Adrien's heart stammered and his blood ran cold.

 _a new Ladybug?_

No. There was no such thing. He wouldn't allow this to happen, how could _he_ even think to replace Marinette? She was on of a kind. She was his other half, his soulmate. Adrien felt sick and betrayed. Suddenly he didn't want his freedom as Chat Noir anymore, locked in his own house or not, he didn't want it.

He hadn't transformed at all since his loved one's death, not just because he was mourning and felt broken but also because Hawkmoth was being eerily quiet, and the akumas had stopped. The only reason he kept his miraculous around was because of Plagg. Now that he was weighed down by this alarming news, he didn't want to be a hero. After all, who was he without his lady? Putting on a costume is easy, but putting on the right attitude is difficult and Adrien knew no one else in Paris could be capable of doing this as perfectly as Marinette.

He realized that if he were to keep the ring, then, not only would he hurt himself but also Plagg and Tikki. They were literally two halves of a whole and because of his tragic loss, he knew the feeling of emptiness all too well.

He couldn't bear the thought of him letting Plagg watch Tikki break down and then be locked away. Most importantly, he couldn't bear to even comprehend the possibility of working next to another ladybug, one who wasn't _his_ bugaboo.

He needed Mari.

Without her, existence was worthless. He already felt his soul shedding itself, little by little every day. The pain was already hard to restrain, clinging to him like a mass of mist and grey. He felt like a cloud of anguish was always hovering above his head, torturing his soul from what was and what could have been. The weight of the pain was too heavy to hold up and now, he found that it would be easier to let go. He felt like a stray and life seemed too long to live alone. He was losing himself, and he couldn't stop it.

It was here, at this moment when Adrien Agreste realized, like his lover, he too was dying.

"And that is all I know" the green, turtle-like, pixie-sized creature said in a calm, collected voice.

The old man with a red, Hawaiian themed shirt with white printed flowers stroked his beard. It was obvious he was of Chinese descent.

"hmmm, very interesting, make sure to add that to the banking scrolls of holders. Thank you, Wayzz." The man said while picking out a book from the enormous book shelf lined with thousands of old scrolls and ancient books.

" How long do you think he has, master?" The little kwami piped up.

"It is hard to say, from what has happened in the past, usually its the black cat that goes first, but since its the lady bug that has passed I'd say about a couple of months at most, depending on his emotional state."

"I agree Master, especially now that he has generously returned the miraculous to prevent any damage to be done to Tikki...I've never seen her shed tears before, it is very unlike her."

The old man closed the giant book and safely put it back onto it's correct spot on the bookshelf. He looked down at his kwami, gloom swimming in his eyes. He sighed heavily.

" Well, at least now we can retrieve Nooroo. It's a tragedy; they never go this quick, and at such a young age. If I had known that fate would twist it's words then I would have never let them reveal themselves to each other."

It was quiet for a moment, neither the guardian nor the kwami spoke. Both of them aware of the weight that he now had to lift off their chests. But that duty came along with the job. He had to live his life protecting the miraculous along with the stories of its holders, he also had to carry the burden of their deaths on his shoulders.

"Well Wayzz, you may return to the main room. Check on Tikki and Plagg and be sure to let them know that their physical presence will run out in due time. The miraculous can only hold on for so long."

With a bow the kwami turned and dashed right through the wooden wall like a ghost.

The guardian sighed, although he had known about the risk that came along with the miraculous, he didn't expect to see two losses in one go. This time, he would bury the third chat noir he had picked out ever since he became the guardian.

He chuckled. How ironic was the tittle he had been given when he couldn't even live up to it - guard the innocent holders from meeting a treacherous fate.

Maybe that's why it's called star crossed love.


End file.
